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Hi.

Welcome to Scattered Thoughts. We document experiences and relatable written pieces as well as visual pieces Hope you read something you relate too!

17, Pregnant and Scared. - @xojeks

   Never in my life did I think that I was gonna be pregnant at such a young age. I wasn't gonna be able to do things that most teens my age would be doing. In high school I was the quiet innocent girl, the girl that couldn't say a bad or indecent word without blushing. So imagine getting hit with the news that you're gonna have a child in high school. 

     In December of 2010, one month before my 17th birthday I began feeling really sick. I couldn't eat or drink and I didn't even have the strength to get up for school. After about a month I went to the hospital with my mom. When we got there they asked me what was wrong and I explained all the symptoms I was feeling, they then asked me if I was sexually active and I of course said no because my mother was in the room and that would be awk. After waiting forever the doctor finally came in the room and told my mom to go sign some papers. When she left the doctor said and I quote "Jessica you are pregnant, I know this is very hard to take in considering you are so young. Now do you want to tell your mom or do you want me to tell her?" 

     I swear to y'all I felt like an 18 wheeler ran me over, reversed and ran me over again. My goodness I didn't know what to say, do or think; at the very moment my life crumbled right before my very eyes. Two minutes later my mom walked back in and from the look on her face she knew something was about to go down. She probably asked me what was wrong five times before I snapped back into it. I finally told her and I wish I could describe to y'all the look she had on her face. Dude I let my mother down. 

I continued being sick and on my birthday, January 29th, I had a central line put in so I could hydrate myself two times a day for about 3 hours. 

For months to come I had to deal with the surprised looks and whispers from strangers in the hallways at school. Walking in the halls was so difficult solely because I wasn't used to being the topic of discussion and I was seeing it happen right in front of me. Thankfully I had an awesome support system at school, mainly my hairdressing girls. 

  The day that I felt Julian for the first time I knew everything I was going through was gonna be so worth it. Every time I heard his heartbeat I fell more and more in love. I was due September 9th. I was ready to hold him and give him the best of me. As my belly grew, I became more and more uncomfortable. And my nights quickly turned into sleepless nights. 

August 2011, was a very hot month but in came Hurricane Irene. The last week of August the rain finally started to subside and I was just about ready to pop. The 28th my mom and I went to the mall to to finish getting everything I needed for my hospital bag. As we were getting ready to leave I slipped and fell into a split because of a puddle of water. (MIND YOU THERE WASN'T A WET FLOOR SIGN SO I COULD'VE SUED AND MADE BANK.) Later that night I started experiencing contractions for the first time. 

     The next day they grew stronger and more constant. I went into the emergency room, and was sent home cause I wasn't dilated enough. I went through three days of excruciating pain. I heard my pelvic area cracking apart and I felt like I had flaming knives being scraped around my uterus. I do not remember my labor and according to Melissa I passed out every time I had a contraction. BUT my momma ain't raise no pussy so I continued going natural with no epidural. 

    September 1st 2011.. To Be Continued...   

The Book Of Life... - @Joey_Eiland