17' - @Cierraanise
So it's January of my senior year of high school. Worcester Tech to be specific, and I just want to recap what I've gotten out of high school so far. Now, I know once I start college later this year, it's a whole new world of challenges waiting to kick my ass lmao. But this recap is sort of help for underclassmen or anyone who may need some general guidance because I sure did. I didn't really have much guidance outside of school until I met Geary but that's another topic. Thank you G! Anyways, enough digression.
I had started freshman year off thinking I was going to have the friends I had in middle school that went to the same high school as me. My middle school was a "family" but it all changed when we left after 8th grade. Don't worry about friends, things change, people change. It's life. Growing pains my friend. (No pun intended) I no longer speak to people I've known my whole life and there's no hard feelings on my end. It is what it is. Past friends ultimately become faceless, they never existed. Nothing to stress. With some people, an everlasting friendship wasn't meant to be. Don't worry about keeping friends, and fitting in. You'll lose yourself. & for future high school students and current underclassmen, DO YOUR DAMN SCHOOL WORK.
Be selfish... I can't stress this enough. No one is going to be you in college, in life, in the classroom, e.t.c. Being a caretaker is very dangerous. A lot of people will use you, and your emotions start to deteriorate. Again, you lose yourself. You begin to think your not good enough. Don't allow anyone to take advantage of who you are and can be. It eats you alive and can affect the future you. The way you love, the way you feel, the way you think. Don't lose a great love, great friend, or relationship, due to past induced pain. It's a domino effect so you have to be careful with who you take under your wing and care for. Caring is dangerous but don't let that allow to stop caring for shit you should care about. Put yourself first.
You're on your own a lot but not always. Well I was in my case I was a lot. Referring back to friends, and relationships, not everyone will reciprocate your energy. More often than not I found myself putting in 90 and receiving not even the full 10 to make 100. That messed me up a lot. I felt lost, I felt like I needed someone to do everything for me. Wrong. I've done a lot on my own but here's where it's get tricky. I got so caught up in the mentality that I didn't need any help from anyone with anything. That I almost pushed some good people away. He's popping back up in this piece smh, but I gotta thank Geary again for getting me out of that pit. Sometimes you need help and guidance. You can be selfish and do your thing with someone else leading/guiding you. He helped me realize that. Now some may think I'm saying this because we're together, and he's my man, nah. Always been a friend first. People like that, you want to keep around you.
Give yourself props sometimes. Acknowledge your accomplishments, small and big. Also, give credit where it's due. Life only gets harder the older you get. To me the only way to make it the slightest amount of easier is by doing good in high school.
Change is inevitable, you will change. Me I changed for the better, I like who I'm becoming. People will try to ridicule you for taking time, and becoming a better you, for your sanity, ignore it. "People look at you strange, saying you changed. Like you worked that hard to stay the same." Keep that quote in the back of your head. There's always going to be supporters out there, rooting for you until their last breath is taken. Along with the supporters, comes with people who go against you, deliberately, and subconsciously. Don't take offense to it. Also, think positive. It gets hard to keep a positive mindset with life coming at you at various angles. School is difficult, especially with people doubting you, and undermining your abilities. Don't let that stop you. Stay focused on being a positive energy, and becoming the best you. You're living for you. That mind, body, and soul is YOURS, nobody else's.
You take classes, and learn lessons in school. These were the lessons from classes that didn't go on my transcripts.