Today I thought about what exactly love is. Idk why, but I did. My mind has various questions about it. What is it precisely? Is it pain, pleasure, happiness & sadness that's locked up in a corner of your brain until someone you think deserving of it comes along, that people experience? If so I can't relate. I've never had it. What's it like to have someone be down and hold it down for you? I can't relate. Who thought of this love? How did it get to be of existence? I wonder.
I am very skeptical of the quote on quote, "love" people pass around so loosely. From the "I luh you's", "ily's", "ilysm", to the "i luv u's". In fact, I'm too skeptical. There are people I know who have told me they love me & in an instant, I didn't even believe what they were saying or I asked them if they were drunk. Empty words to say the least. I don't know what to do about this.
The Weeknd said in a lyric "don't fall in love that shit is pointless.". If it's so pointless, why do people on gods green earth try to so hard to obtain it? From one perspective its temporary, just like life itself. It'll never last. So maybe it is. Who knows.
Here's some more questions. Is being in love a state of mind? Like, your brain tells you you're in love? Or is it merely a feeling? What do you feel when you're in love? Sometimes I wonder if I am supposed to not find or fall in love after being so comfortably by my lonesome for all this time. When will someone see that I'm a great person to be with or when will I finally spark an interest in a person that they feel is ever-lasting? I have no idea. Time seems to be moving so fast but also so slow.
Yet, I don't stress too much about the love I do not have. I have unconditional love from my mother & sister. I feel like that's love, but theres probably another love out there that's totally different. I kind of wanna know that love. Will I feel or know it soon? or not? I guess my future knows.