Feelings. Something I keep bottled up about 95% of the time. People tell me it's not healthy but when you've always been shut down just for trying to express something, what else can a person do? I'm human. Certain things are going to bother me that may not have the same effect on someone else. But my feelings still matter.
Question I always ask myself (and truth be told, to God as well) is there going to be a day where I'm gonna matter, every aspect of me? Are people going to stop telling me how I should feel? Probably not cause, well, that's life and it's a bitch. I try hard to be an understanding and patient person but how much else can I take? Before I give up on trying to let people see who I am and slowly close myself off. And honestly, I fear for that day...
If I can't confide in you when something is bothering me, then what the fuck is the point?! What's the point in having people in my life if I'm not even comfortable to express myself. What's the point in anything? I'm not perfect whatsoever, I never claim to be but I try to be the best ME that I can. I have feelings, you have feelings, your coworker, next door neighbor and we all express them differently, don't condemn a person for it. Most people just want to be understood and to at least feel somewhat important. I know I do...
...and I hope one day...soon...I can stop having this pain I feel daily...and emptiness...
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